Taking a Break

I realize its been awhile since I last blogged. Its been crazy with work, travel, and life. I am taking a blogging break for a bit just bc I have nothing to blog about right now. Hope all is well with all my sweet blog friends!!

My Birthday Wish List (kinda early)

Since my birthday is at the end of this month (the 27th to be exact), I have been thinking about what all I want. Keep in mind, this is a "wish list," so I have no limits, right??????

Number 1: That everyone on this earth knows the crazy love that you can experience through our creator. He will carry you in your most trying times and rejoice with you during happy times. All He wants to do is spend quality time with YOU!!! So let Him, and prepare to be amazed!

Number 2: A beautiful, healthy baby. I am so ready to experience this next chapter of our life together, to nurture and love a child with all my heart. (Please note, that I have no idea whose baby picture this is, but those blue eyes got me.)

Number 3: I wish that my health insurance made a mistake on what they covered for our last IUI tab. For some reason, we are supposed to pay a lot more than we

did the last go-round. Not cool.

Number 4: A new vacuum cleaner. I am completely unimpressed with our Bissell, but being engaged and not knowing much at the time about household appliances, we REALLY sacrificed on quality. According to reviews, customers returned their Dyson vacuums and purchased this one, and were incredibly surprised and pleased. The

price point is also much better: $350-$500 Dyson vs. $98.96 rollback price at

Walmart.

Number 5: The NookColor. Simply put, I REALLY want this. I have become quite the reader over the last year and LOVE to read about various topics, that have no rhyme or reason: Christian books, Christian infertility books, books about celebrities, books about Tudor history, and books that make me want to pack up

and head to the beach (Dorthea Benton Frank). Bonus, with the Nook Color, I can

email, facebook, stream Pandora, among its many other features.

Number 6: An unending, calorie-free, fat-free supply of raw fries with cheese with a side of homemade ranch dressing. Absolutely my favorite type of junk food.

Number 7: These 3 items from Victorias Secret. You can never go wrong there.

Did I miss anything?

A New Year, A New Day

Well, today is 1/1/11. Its absolutely crazy how time flies. So much has happened in the past year: many joys, LOTS of learning experiences, a renewed spiritual relationship, a new church family whom we adore, and lastly loss.

This year, I have completely learned to surrender everything (its very hard) I thought I could do on my own. I was completely under the impression that God would let me do things and then knock me down when He didn't like it. That was until I learned what it was like to put my total faith in Him.

This year, I learned what it was like to come to an understanding that family, while loved, is not always perfect. Relationships, while reconciled, will never be the same; they change. Sometimes, we choose to love family, bc they are our family; not bc its easy to love them. I have no clue how I would have gotten through this year without my beautiful sister, Lori.

This year, I put forth more of an effort with friends. Its easy to fall into the normal routine of YOUR life where you can only focus on YOUR life. However, this year, I traveled to see friends, spent more time with my friends, and grew to understand my friends' love for me when I couldn't always be the best to them. 2010 was a year that there was joy, but a lot of sadness. Life can baffle us and we may not always understand its twists and turns, but true friends stand by you, give you what you need, and never judge you for your failure to reciprocate bc you simply CAN'T. To put it lightly, I love my friends.

As I went to sleep last night, I was thinking about what is going to happen in 2011: we will welcome the arrival of many close friends' newborn children, learn of new life adventures for our friends, stay active in our church, have a resolution on our fertility struggles (can we or can't we have our own children), see my sister 2 semesters closer to being a nurse that she so desparately wants to be, watch my nephew turn 7 and my niece turn 4, watching a very accomplished friend graduate with her PhD from UT, family vacation, visiting friends out of state, setting goals and achieving them, so many things I know will happen and so many things are left to be revealed in this new year.

I personally cannot wait to see what happens for each of you in your new year. Its a clean slate and I am so ready for change. Happy New Year friends, both near and far.

Some of our NYE celebration with friends at Buca di Beppo:

PS~ Just wanted to give a small fertility update. Tomorrow morning, we go back to REACH for our second IUI. 3 eggs, great lining, very pleased doctor, and a husband ready to "provide." Let's do this!!

Merry Christmas

I would like to wish all my "followers" and readers a very Blessed Advent Season and a Fabulous New Year.

When Life Gets too Tough to Stand....Kneel

I couldn't think of a better title than this for this post. I am going to start this post off and it may be sad to some, and me, but I promise to pick up the beat at the end.

So let's just get it out there, I am not pregnant. The IUI was not successful. I have wondered over the past 2 weeks how these things fail when everything looks so promising. The only thing I can rationalize is that it was not a part of God's perfect timing. So today marks cycle day 1, and I have already placed a call to REACH to start the process over again. Sunday, I caved and took a test (2 days early) and it was negative. Before I took the test, I kneeled and prayed and I had this overwhelming sense that I should not take that test. I prayed for God to hold me and comfort me if the test was negative, please don't give me tears, but give me focus. I prayed for Him to calm me, and to forgive me bc I haven't had the strength to keep praying for our baby. (Don't get me wrong, I just don't pray for baby anymore. My thoughts are mostly attuned to God and my internal/external conversations that I have with Him daily) However, I am human and I tested anyway. After the negative result, my mind drifted to a gym/running/hot yoga routine that I am anxious to start after this week, just bc we have SO much going on this week.

Last night I kneeled and prayed again, but not for a positive, but for today, which I was really nervous would be really tough. So far, so good and no tears. Charlie is very disappointed and he really thought this was it.

So what brings me joy today? Many things, let me tell you about them:

The power of prayer and God's arms wrapped tightly around me

Family and friends who have been praying for us

Plans to start a new year with a clean slate

Planning a week-long family vacation to Folly Beach, our little slice of Heaven in the Carolina's

and lastly; my mom is HAPPY, dating, and acting like a teenager. Even though she is under-the-
weather, she is still beaming. Her blood pressure is lower than ever, she is stress free, and OH,
did I mention she was dating a fantastic guy??? She is even surprising herself.

Oh the promises a new year will bring. I leave you with this "When life gets too tough to stand....KNEEL."

The Joys of Making "Family Memories"

Happy Monday everyone. I wanted to share a funny story from last Thursday night. I am really big into making family memories. Looking back on my childhood, we had the best time and great memories to reflect on. So in an effort to start traditions, Charlie and I (mostly me) wanted to take a family trip to McAdenville with the my sister and her family (Lori, Rob, nephew Gavin 6, and niece Reagan 3) to see the Christmas lights. Unfortunately, Rob had a work Christmas party and was unable to participate. So we load up our 4Runner with 2 carseats, Lori, Charlie, and me. We started at McDonald's in Gastonia as that was the kids choice of dining. I think the huge, indoor playground had a lot to do with that decision as well. Then off we go to the Christmas lights in McAdenville, except this time I get in the back middle seat bc Lori felt the beginning of car sickness and she took my place in the front. The night couldn't have gone better, with my hot chocolate in hand, and disregarding Lori and Charlie's quiet comments about how this outing was boring, no one was going to rain on this parade. As we are riding through McAdenville, we roll down the windows to hear the church bells and so the kids can tell every passing car "Merry Christmas." We even let Gavin put his head out of the sunroof and tell everyone "Merry Christmas." (Please don't think we are awful and dangerous, everyone else does it and we were holding onto him very tightly.) Gavin's next Christmas wish for everyone went something like this "Merry Christmas to all and to all THE goodnight." Yes, "the goodnight," but it was soo cute.

After we leave McAdenville, we are going down the interstate about 20 minutes from home, when Reagan (whom I am still sitting beside) starts saying over and over "Take my seatbelt off, take my seatbelt off." I explain that we can't bc we are going down the road and its dangerous. "Take my seatbelt off, take my seatbelt off, cough, cough, VOMIT!!" I flip the light on and find "mess" all over the place. So Lori gets me the napkins that I always keep in my dash, and I proceed to start wiping. This poor angel was just crying and soaked. As I am wiping round 2 came and this time it was projectile and was all over the place, including the back of the driver's seat and all over my hand. My eyes pop open really wide, fought off my initial urge to vomit myself, and started giving orders. "Next exit, gas station on right, GO." All the while, my little angel Reagan is just crying for me to wipe her wipe her. We were out of napkins.

We finally make it to this gas station, Charlie runs in to get supplies, Lori and I strip Reagan in the parking lot down to her undies, clean her off, and set her in the front seat with her mommy's fleece jacket over her. Reagan's clothes go into a plastic bag and are tied off, and the carseat is moved into the very back of the car as well. Oh yeah, meanwhile, Gavin, still sitting in his carseat, keeps saying "Oh my gosh, Reagan is going to die, Reagan is going to die." The car is finally cleaned (as much as could be) and back on the interstate we go with Reagan riding on Lori's lap (don't judge). Right before our exit off the interstate, Reagan says "I need a napkin, I need a napkin, VOMIT." This time she vomited all over mommy's fleece jacket....twice. Once we finally got back to their house, the windows could be rolled up, and Reagan was immediately stuck in the tub and her carseat and clothes were placed in the washing machine. Lori and Rob gave us a gift certificate to have our car cleaned both inside and out. It looks like someone takes after their mommy.

How about that for making family memories?

What do you do when.....

....your husband won't tell you what he wants for Christmas bc he can't think of anything he wants or needs? We met for a little mexican lunch date today, and again I went through the pulling teeth process to figure out what Chuckles wants for Christmas. I figured out why he has his "wants" or "needs" in the back of his mind. Prepare yourselves......wait for it.......he is being CHEAP.

WHAT? Yes, you read it, C-H-E-A-P! Today he said "Its different when its our money we are spending." Let's be honest, we all have things that we cut corners on, or a cheap side for certain things. Don't get me wrong, we don't go crazy spending money on eachother at Christmas, but if Charles doesn't suck it up, he will only be receiving his $50 toy that is identical to my 6 year old nephew's, Gavin. Well, I take that back, he will also be getting his stocking stuffers that consist of a Rubix Cube, Uno, and some chapsticks (he doesn't read this blog, so his surprises aren't spoiled). I have no clue. I suggested the iPod touch, surround sound, a sound bar, etc....NOTHING!!

Which leads me to another question. Every year, as a part of his presents, I ALWAYS make an effort to get Charlie a toy. Let's face it, men are still children whose eyes beam when they have a bright, shiny, brand new toy. So I will end this post by asking two questions:

1) What are areas in your life that you are "cheap?"
2) What do you try to be consistent with every year when giving presents?