So its been quite some time since my last post; I'm sorry. We have been so busy and ACTIVE. OMG with spring here we are jogging at night, going to the gym after work, going to softball games, and throwing softball in the street in the late afternoons. OH YES, and GRILLLING...one of my favorite things to do!!! You know, I mentioned in my last couple of posts that we were not pregnant last month and that I have really had a peace about me and my demeanor is just different. Well, at some point, the tears and emotions had to show their faces and play Debbie-Downer for about 15 minutes. With the clomid intake, I have to go to the lab every 21st day and get my blood drawn to see if the clomid worked or not. You see, last month, I was so nervous and upset (for some reason) about having my blood drawn, feeling inadequate like the clomid would not work on MY body, OH and then a pregnant teenager (with her big beautiful bump), her mother and who I think was her boyfriend sat down right in front of me at the doctors' office while waiting to get my blood drawn. Well, the tears welled up for sure and I sure couldn't hide it!!! (I REALLY need to work on not judging others.) This month, my 21st day fell on Friday. So here I am going to grab some quick breakfast with my sister before the appointment with my thoughts attuned to Him. On the drive to meet her, something turned on the waterworks bc I had tears everywhere. Its the same feelings/thoughts each time: when will I see the + test and when will it be our turn, and Lord, why can't Your will be NOW?? I can't imagine hearing our child's heartbeat for the first time and I definitely cannot fathom what it will be like to hold our child for the first time. Then just as soon as I met up with my sister, the tears stopped and we talked about it. We have decided that I get this way bc this is when I receive news; its not just waiting, its KNOWING!! So as I set out to the doctors' office, my thoughts were attuned only to Him who I knew would be with me and comfort me...He was with me so much the needle prick didn't even hurt :) . I have also spoken with my Pastor (related to my father) and the fertility situation just came up somehow. The next time we cross paths, he wants to pray over us... AMAZING!
I also cannot leave out that I met a new friend on Thursday night. She is amazing and its nice to know we aren't going through infertility alone. Life is great and God is Awesome!!
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